Beware the backsliding

Photograph by Liz George

I made the life changing decision to move on
And it was a liberating feeling,
I felt so much lighter, relieved that I don't have to live the pain anymore.
Life was going to be so much better.
The euphoria of the decision stayed with me for days.



And then slowly, negativity started creeping in ...
I was not going back to the way things were,
But at the same time I was not moving forward either.

Negative thoughts came back in the form of fears of what the future would be
How would I get by, what would become of me
What was I going to do with life... and so on it went.

The old fears were replaced with news ones
And this was me backsliding into the same emotional situation through different thoughts.
The ego trying to keep its hold on me by replacing one negative situation with another.

I have to be conscious at all times that I don't allow negativity to come back.  It is so easy to slip back into our old ways because that is what we know, what we are familiar and comfortable with. The actual situation does not matter, it is the emotion and negativity that we hold on to bringing to us situations where we keep experiencing the same thing.  It takes great courage and strength to step into the unknown, not knowing what will become of us and being positive and happy about it.  Being happy in the face of uncertainty is very difficult.

I am watchful of every thought that I have and when I find myself thinking of difficulties and uncertainties, feeling bad about things, feeling low, I make myself stop the thought immediately and let go of it.  This does not mean that I don't think of the issues that have to be dealt with, it only means that I am not attaching a negative emotion to that issue. And by doing this I actually find I have the strength and courage to deal with the difficult issue and that I can actually sort it out.

My moto - stay firm in the faith and trust in the Divine, do not let negativity and pain rule my life anymore, it does not serve me so I release it.  I look forward to my bright future filled with love.

In Love and Light