The path to forgiveness

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When someone does something very hurtful and then continues to carry on doing the same knowing very well that his actions are causing you harm, what can you do?  How can you even start the process of forgiving that person?

I recently watched Neale Donald Walsch’s segment on you tube where he talks about forgiveness and how we should try and understand the other person’s perspective and what makes them do the things that hurt us.  I understand what he is saying and also know that forgiving someone releases us from feeling the pain, anger and other emotions that we feel towards the person who hurt us.

Understanding is one thing, but my dilemma is going through the actual act of forgiveness.  I can tell myself to let go of the situation, I don’t need to feel the negative emotions anymore, I should put it behind me, etc., etc., but somehow that does not seem enough.  I feel fine just after I have told myself to let go and can then go on for a while without any thoughts on the issue, but then when another incident happens where the same thing has happened again, I don’t seem to have any control of the negative emotions that I feel.  And if I let myself go into the spiral of negative emotions, I am letting myself go lower again instead of carrying on the path to forgiveness.

I now understand that forgiveness does not happen in one moment (it would be great if we can do it) but that it can actually take time and that we have to be patient and have the right intentions when we choose to forgive someone.  I know from how I felt about the situation on day one and how I feel about it today, I have come a long way.  Today I am more in control of my emotions and I have the awareness not to let the anger and the pain control me when something new happens.  I believe that if we are true to our intention to forgive we have taken the first steps on the path to forgiveness and after this we have to just stay on the path and keep repeating ‘I forgive you’ whenever the incident comes to mind and we start feeling the negative emotions all over again.  It’s all too easy for us to keep the negative emotions and victimise ourselves because that is what our ego automatically does.  We have to be very conscious of bringing the positive thoughts to mind when a negative emotion wants to take over and if we continue to do this without fail each and every time, there will be a time when we have only positive thoughts in our mind when we look back at the incident.

I know I will get to that place where I can look back at the situation and the person who caused it and have only love towards that person.  And when I reach this point, I know I have walked the path to forgiveness.

In Love and Light